Demeanor is One of the Fifteen Facets of Executive Presence

This article is one in a series focusing on Executive Presence and how leaders can meet their potential through improved communication. Executive Presence is defined by Suzanne Bates in her book “All the Leader You Can Be: The Science of Achieving Extraordinary Executive Presence” as “The qualities of a leader that engage, inspire, align, and move people to act… By understanding how your intentions as a leader match up with perceptions, you can learn how to flex your style to gain trust, build alignment, lead change, inspire performance, and drive executional excellence.”

This article focuses on Demeanor, one of the 15 facets that make up a 3-dimensional leader.

Click here to gain a greater understanding of (a) executive presence in general and (b) the other facets that make up a well-rounded leader.

What is Demeanor?

Bates says someone with a healthy Demeanor, one of the fifteen facets of executive presence, “acts as a competent executive, adapts style and appearance appropriate to the situation, and handles situations with tact.” People with good Demeanor are engaging and easy to work with. They are self-aware, likable, enthusiastic, and never intimidating. In other words, they consistently “show up” for others, so people know what they’re getting.

Two Layers of Demeanor

Some facets in the Bates model have two layers. Demeanor is one of them. Physical Demeanor is based on our appearance and whether we’re well-groomed and appropriate for the situation. Emotional Demeanor is less tangible and is based on how we make others feel through our conduct and interactions.

How Your Demeanor Makes People Feel

People with good Demeanor demonstrate respect for others and earn their respect in return. Their self-awareness helps them know what they need to do and how they need to look to make others feel comfortable. While Demeanor includes appearance and dress, it is much more than that. Your Demeanor makes people feel that:

• I enjoy being around you because you made the effort to look and act appropriately.
• I feel that you are up to the job—you are healthy, rested, and energetic.
• I feel that you represent the organization’s brand effortlessly.

Not Enough Awareness of Demeanor

Someone who lacks Demeanor may seem to lack self-awareness, not care about the impression they make, or simply seem unwilling to make the effort.

• They may appear sloppy or inappropriate in appearance.
• They may lack enthusiasm as communicators.
• They may seem unhealthy or tired.
• Others may “tune out” or “write off” a leader solely based on superficial observations.

Specific Behaviors to Improve Perceptions of Your Demeanor

Here are some things you can do to improve the impression you make in terms of your Demeanor.

• Show respect for others by making the effort to appear well-groomed and appropriate.
• Project enthusiasm and express interest in others.
• Think about the organization’s brand and work to represent it through appearance and communication.
• Be kind, considerate, and the person others want to work with.
• Use punctuation, slang, emojis, and abbreviations appropriate for the situation.
• Open and close written communication in a way that is appropriate for your brand.
• Use an appropriate virtual setup.
• Choose the communication tool and document style appropriate for the situation.

Too Much Emphasis on Your Demeanor

When someone exhibits too much of a particular facet, it can become an overstrength. An overstrength often results in negative perceptions. Here are some downsides of an overstrength in Demeanor.

• Others perceive you as an “empty suit” or plastic.
• Others feel that you are disingenuous.
• Your high level of enthusiasm may be inappropriate or exhausting to others.

A Story About a Lack of Demeanor

During the pandemic, Jean, a senior manager at a small wealth management company, faced challenges she had never faced before. Her team was working remotely, of course, scheduling Zoom meetings with clients instead of the usual face-to-face. During the first of these meetings, Jean was shocked at what she heard and saw. Everyone needed to improve how they came across on camera—lighting and sound issues, appropriate attire, video backgrounds, and enthusiasm needed improvement.

All of these issues fall under the Demeanor facet. Jeans’s employees were, as Bates would describe, failing to adapt their style and appearance to be appropriate for the situation. Because they were working from home, they didn’t feel the need to put in the effort they would put in if they were working in an office. This was especially jarring for Jean because people’s attire and professionalism had never been an issue before. She recognized that in order to meet the expectations of their older, wealthy clients, she needed to address the issue swiftly. The company’s brand was at stake.

After a couple of days into the first work-at-home week, Jean realized her biggest challenge was their superstar senior wealth advisor, Joshua. When Joshua appeared on screen to meet his client, he was wearing a golf shirt, poorly lit, with his head at the bottom of the screen, and his enthusiasm was lacking. To make matters worse, in one client meeting, he was eating a bagel during the first few minutes. When that call was over, Jean asked Joshua to stay in the meeting for a debrief.

“Joshua, everything you said during this meeting was spot on. You were clear, you listened well, and your answers to the client’s questions were excellent. What we need to talk about is how you came across in terms of appearance and overall effort. These meetings require a professional approach. Simple things like camera placement and lighting are easy to fix. There’s no shortage of how-to videos online.

“The larger issue, though, is that you didn’t represent our brand. Our clients expect us to make the effort to look and sound professional. You should dress and behave as you would if you were running these meetings face-to-face in the office. The golf shirt is appropriate on the golf course with clients, but not in meetings. I know that is not very intuitive since you’re working by yourself at home. But it’s important for all of us to do our best as we work through this strange time.

“Here’s what I recommend: when you’re meeting with a client, dress as you would for a face-to-face meeting and bring the same energy—through vocal enthusiasm and gestures—as you would if you were sitting across the table. By doing that, you’ll support the brand and show respect for the client. Whether you recognize it or not, you’re a role model. People look to you, and they’ll follow your lead.”

Joshua was caught off guard and embarrassed, but he understood Jean’s point of view. He’d just never considered things like this before. He committed to doing better, and after a week of tinkering with his at-home video set-up, he suggested to Jean that they schedule an all-hands meeting so he could teach the other employees the lessons he’d learned. “We’re at an inflection point, and this is our opportunity to reset expectations.”

Some Facets Ride Together

Often, when we lean into particular facets (or pull back from them), other facets “come along for the ride.” When someone’s Demeanor is perceived as lacking or off-brand for themselves or the organization, perceptions in other facets can also be affected. These include Authenticity, Integrity, Concern, Confidence, and Resonance.

Final Thoughts About Demeanor

Demeanor is in the Style dimension in the Bates model, which means “it’s about the first impression people make—based on image, mannerisms, and interpersonal behavior.” Because the Style facets are all about the impression we make with our behaviors, we need to be self-aware and intentional about how we show up for others in both business and social situations.

If you’d like to learn more or explore executive presence coaching options for yourself or your team, click here to schedule a call.